Have you ever had one of those days when something is heavy on your heart and you don’t really understand why? I’m not sure if it’s pregnancy hormones, the Holy Spirit, or just being too sensitive and reflective, but my mind has been absolutely racing. I couldn’t sleep and I had an interesting dream which I can’t stop thinking about either.
I dreamed that I was a counselor and I was counseling a young male I’ve never seen before. He was distraught over things he had done in the past and he believed that God would no longer accept him. He couldn’t even look me in the face. There were heavy, thick words floating around him like “guilt,” “unworthy,” and “plagued.” And in my dream, I reminded him that there is a nasty, evil accuser who loves nothing more than to convince us that God is done with us, that He doesn’t love us, and that He can’t use us. But those are all lies. Satan, the master of deception, will warp our thoughts and even use other people to convince us that we are past the point of worthiness, past the point of being lovable and forgivable, past the reach of our Lord. But we never, ever are. And that’s all I remember about my dream.
In Acts 17:24-27, Paul explains to the people in Athens about the “unknown God” they have acknowledged. He says, “The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by human hands. And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything. Rather, he himself gives everyone life and breath and everything else. From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us.”
God is not far from any of us! And what better person to remind us of the Lord’s redemptive power, of His boundless love and forgiveness than Paul! The Lord used a man who had previously been relentless in persecuting Christians to spread the gospel all the way to the Roman Empire. Be careful not to limit the transformational power of Jesus, my friends. We might limit it when it comes to ourselves at times, but we also do it to others more than we may wish to admit or acknowledge.
The thoughts bouncing around in my head are more for fellow Christians to reflect on, but please feel free to continue reading regardless of whether or not you are currently a believer. The theme has to do with our minds and how we honestly perceive others in relation to ourselves. Do we look down on others for what we personally view as their errors, flaws, sins? Do we feel better about ourselves by talking about others and calling names and passing brash generalizations and judgments? Why is that? And do we even realize we are doing these things?!
Something I was pondering last night and into today is “Am I more compelled to knock on a neighbor’s door to complain about something or confront a perceived issue than I am to invite them to coffee or dinner or a church service/event?” Am I more passionate to share with them my opinion or to share with them the gospel? Am I more focused on their sin or on their Savior? And where in the world would I get off focusing on someone else’s sins/problems/whatever when Lord knows I have had my own full share of sins/issues/mistakes?
In Matthew 7:1-5, Jesus tells us, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”
I had a hard time sleeping because I feel like as a church body, as a collective group of Christians, we may mean well… most of the time… but sometimes we need to check our motives. To honestly and deeply take a minute to consider where a particular idea came from. I respect and admire folks who have been in the faith for a long time and have a gentle, peaceful way about them. I admire their personal adherence to their beliefs and their values. I admire those who are accepting and forgiving and exude that deep, unshakeable joy which I know can only come from Christ. But it is hard for me when I see people I respect calling other people names. Sounding bitter or jealous. Judging so hard. Acting as if they themselves haven’t had to experience the grace and forgiveness of Jesus. Treating and talking about others as if they’re dumb or downright bad people. Gossiping. Shaming. It is almost making me cry right now. (Again, give me a break for being pregnant and embarrassingly emotional.) I am trying to remind myself that even the people I look up to aren’t going to seem perfect in my eyes all the time. They’re human, too, and still have struggles with sin of their own. Just like everyone else. Just like me.
It is hard for me, though. Christians should be the least likely to act like that. To talk like that. To even think like that.
Why is Jesus not enough for us? Why do we also need to feel like we are better than others, to act like we have somehow earned our salvation or status? Why does pride seep in like an inherent temptation when we feel we are on the right path or growing closer to the Lord?
Can we recognize and do we truly believe that Jesus doesn’t accept us on account of how many theological books we have read, by how often we read the Bible and attend church, by all the random facts we know, by the position we hold at work or in social circles, by our wealth or our charitable acts, by our marital status, by our parenting successes or failures, by the depth of our prayer life, by the money we give, by the time we volunteer, by the people we lead in small groups, by the number of friends we have – We don’t earn His love and His salvation! Which is a good thing because there would be no hope for any of us if that was the equation.
Many of those things I listed above are great. Some quite admirable even from an earthly perspective. But we cannot allow them to fuel pride. Because pride isn’t just being full of yourself and forgetting the Lord; it nearly always also involves thinking of others as lesser in some way. And spiritual pride is a real tough struggle, my friends. Because most of the time, we don’t even recognize it for what it is. Isn’t it terrible that Satan will try to use even the good things we do to build up a hardness in our hearts, to create an isolating ego issue, to fuel a judgmental, self-righteous attitude that has no place in a soul where the Holy Spirit resides? How do you think that reflects Christ to people who may not yet know Him, or are struggling with their faith?
Lots of questions today for me to consider. And maybe for you, too…
Am I viewing someone as a fellow beloved child of my Father? Someone who is just as wanted and whose potential is just as great as mine? God has gifted us all, but am I so focused on someone’s shortcomings that I lose sight of that? That the Lord loves them and can use them in powerful ways? That He longs to welcome their willing hearts, just as much as He longs each day for me? That I am just as much in need of His mercy and forgiveness as the next person?
Lord, help me not to forget that. Please give me a wisdom and discernment that comes from beyond myself, my opinions and my inherently biased views of the world. Help me to see as You see. Give me the grace and strength to be faithful to You, and to focus on You more than I focus on myself or on others. Help me to see past the superficial and distracting things in this world, whether good or bad, and to continually keep your greater purposes in mind. Protect me and Your other children from pride, from projecting an image of You that is not accurate, that tells the wrong story, that focuses on our sin more than on our Savior. It’s all about You, and I need to remember that as I move through every single day. Help me to ever increasingly reflect your overwhelming love in my thoughts, words, and actions.
1 Corinthians 16:14, HLC
sacred strokes 