sacred strokes

Sometimes I hate mirrors. They can remind me of focusing on myself too much. They remind me of the pressure we are all under to look a certain way, and the flaws we will inevitably see if we look long and hard enough at ourselves.

I realize, though, that mirrors are a good thing. Self-reflection is a good thing. Looking long and hard at ourselves is a good thing. Self-awareness is a good thing. It is that which we each bring to the table that taints the images we see looking back at us. Our personal mirrors can be tainted and skewed by shame, guilt, fear, pride, arrogance, vanity, any number of things.

There are two directions I can go with this, so I will touch on both because I feel like each could be an important message for someone today. One is about the literal image you see looking back at you in a literal mirror and the other is about the metaphorical image you see when you look past the masks, facades, outer layers of yourself into your soul, your inner being. Self-reflection on that deeper level.

Firstly, if you have a mirror near you, or even a phone which has a camera on the front, feel free to look into it. What do you see? There are some of us who have unhealthy reactions to the image we see looking back at us. There is one end of the spectrum where we see nothing special at all. Something even ugly and disappointing. We don’t feel proud of ourselves; we don’t even like what we see looking back at us. We avoid mirrors. If you feel that way, I will tell you that I can relate. I especially remember feeling that way when I was in middle school and felt the crippling compulsion to consistently compare myself to others. Do you realize that the Lord does not do that? He doesn’t compare you to Susie or John or anyone else for that matter. To Him, you are you. Completely and uniquely. He made you with intention. You mess up, sure. Maybe you’ve let yourself go. But God loves you more than you can even possibly know. And, frankly, it doesn’t matter an ounce what you look like. That said, do you realize that you are beautiful? I don’t care who you are reading this; it’s true. You’re a soul with a purpose and a life here and now, with the ability to impact this world in strikingly gorgeous ways. You are made in God’s image; who is Beauty in Himself. The master Artist. Your inner being is what makes or breaks you. Beauty is in our differences. Beauty is in the unique proportions and features which we have each been given. Beauty is in the eye of the ultimate Beholder who, let me tell you, thinks you’re something beautiful, something worth pursuing, something worth everything to Him.

The other end of the spectrum, though, is equally unhealthy. That’s the side where you look at yourself in the mirror and are so captivated with yourself that it’s hard to look away. You have high confidence, probably because of the way you have been treated or praised by others, which is not a bad thing in itself. But when vanity or pride creeps in, watch yourself. Pride is when we forget that the Lord is the One who blessed us with the genetics we have, with the fundamentals of our appearance, with the talents and skills and abilities we possess. We played our part, perhaps, in cultivating those things, but at the end of the day, we had a minimal role in it. Pride forgets all that. Pride compares itself to others in a way that makes it feel like it is better than those others. As if it is somehow superior. People who have this issue may not even realize it because it is a fine line between healthy confidence and conceit. The main issue with this end of the spectrum is that we are putting ourselves up as idols to worship, making our appearance our focus, finding our identities in something other than the one true Source of self-worth. Whether you abhor or adore your appearance, you may need to reflect on what you’re finding your true sense of value in.

Speaking of reflecting, I’m about to head in that second direction I mentioned. Basically the takeaway from the above is that you’re beautiful, but also that you should beware of becoming too full of yourself. The part below is about inner beauty. About reflecting on something much deeper and real and meaningful than outward appearance. This second point is about soul-searching.

Sometimes we look at ourselves and don’t like what we see. We realize we don’t like parts of ourselves, and that there is quite a gap between those areas of our life and how God has called us to live. I say praise the Lord if you have come to that conclusion! Because we are all in that position, whether we realize it or not! When the Holy Spirit convicts us, it can hurt or even embarrass us, but it is the first step toward correcting our ways. It is God’s loving Fatherly hand opening a door in our heart, to show us where He can still work to transform us more into His image. More into His likeness. More like His Son. That said, no matter what you might find in there, God loves you despite all of it. Despite all those things you shoved aside, all those things you know you can’t go back and change, despite all those sinful thoughts and actions and habits and character traits that you possess. 1 Chronicles 28:9 reminds us that “the Lord searches all hearts and understands the intent of the thoughts.” None of us can possibly be easy for Him to love, not when He knows those dark areas even better than we do! He knows it all, and when we reach a new point of self-discovery, He is there. He already knew. And He loves us anyway just the same. Nothing you ever find out about yourself will shock Him, even if it shocks you. Shame is a weapon of Satan, but conviction is of the Spirit and it is good and healthy. Proverbs 3:12 reminds us that “Whom the Lord loves He corrects, just as a father the son in whom he delights.” It is okay to look hard at yourself, even to dislike the areas which are not in alignment with the Lord’s calling, but always remember that the Lord loves you no matter what you see. You are not all that great a person, nor am I, but the Lord’s love is greater than all our issues and flaws. He loves us despite them and isn’t that all the more amazing?! We don’t deserve any of that immense love that He has for us, but outward it continually and abundantly flows. What an example He sets for us to follow!

In conclusion to my various thoughts, I can’t simply ignore mirrors, as much as I’d like to. They help me to see myself in ways I can’t on my own. More importantly, I need to take the time to sit and whip out my metaphorical mirror. To look into myself and seek a better understanding of how I operate and how I behave. To delve into those areas that I know God hasn’t finished working on yet. There will always be those areas. But the Lord can help us transform any part of our souls if we let Him.

Psalm 139:23-24 “Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting,” HLC