sacred strokes

 

So I may be on a poem kick here because I spent my lunch break on this thing.  I stayed up way too late, had some crazy dreams, and woke up with this theoretical conversation on my mind, so I built the whole poem around such a sobering conversation with Jesus.  Maybe it will speak to you or help you today….

 

 

 

What is inside of us that is so pained when we’re left betrayed in doubt –

Is it the heart or mind or even the soul that hurts when we find out?

You know the feeling – when you discover someone isn’t as they seemed.

You hear about something they did – how they gossiped, lied, or schemed.

I’ve had this feeling, too, before, questioning my world and beyond,

So I turned to the One who could help me get a grip on how I should respond.

I started praying, asking that He would show me how to think

And where I needed to go from here, my heart could no further sink.

I heard a voice responding – comforting but also firm and strong,

Telling me that my frustration wasn’t placed quite where it belonged.

I told Him I had done no wrong, I couldn’t even begin to see

How I could be part of the problem, why they should take issue with me.

He calmed me and assured me that He knows everyone’s heart,

But that betrayal was a thing in which I surely played a part.

He told me that He could relate to how I felt, even from many years in the past

When friends traded Him in, or claimed to not know Him when they were asked.

He told me that as He approached His death, so many faces were mocking and cheering –

Some of the same people who had followed Him now were laughing, scorning, jeering.

He carried it all upon His shoulders – the cross it seemed to bear more weight,

But the strength of His love could not be overcome, despite the rising hate.

He then looked at me and said He bore the whole world’s sin on that day –

Those from the past, and in the present, and even those yet on the way.

I met his eyes, I became speechless, my eyes filled to overflowing;

I could tell He saw in my face that I had come to that awful knowing –

The realization that when He died on the top of Calvary,

He felt the sting of every sin, and so many were from me.

I had myself betrayed Him, every day since I could recall,

But endlessly He forgave me, and had washed away it all.

Over and again He accepted me, even seventy times seven;

I just needed to repent and ask, and His forgiveness always was given.

Pride could have stood in my way, I could have griped and stewed;

But talking straight with Jesus had completely changed my mood.

If He can forgive me when I ask for a clean slate,

Certainly I can do that, too, so I’ll simmer down, let it go, pray, wait.

True repentance is displayed through no justification or excuse,

Just a confession of our ways, apologizing for the abuse.

I need to let things go – if not for others, then for my own sake –

Carrying grudges and spite could cause one’s back, and even one’s heart, to break.

So because of Jesus and His example of how we are supposed to be,

I will forgive and move on, but lessons were still learned – there’s been a change in me.

You learn who you can fully trust, who are truly rooting for your good,

And those whose motives and behaviors you sadly misunderstood.

Forgiveness does not mean someone becomes your new best friend;

It just means that all hard feelings have finally come to an end.

Jesus forgave some folks who asked to join His travels, yet He met their desire with resistance;

Some people we are meant to forgive time and again, but wisely keep at a  distance.

I need to remember when I feel hurt that I am not the only one –

The Lord has felt this way before, like each time I neglect His Son.

Lord, help me when I feel betrayed or hurt to just focus on You instead.

Help my heart to heal, restore my trust, clear and soften my hard head.

Matthew 6:14-15,  HLC