You might be familiar with A.W. Tozer, an American preacher during the early to mid-1900s. I hadn’t heard of him until a few years ago. One idea of his has fascinated me ever since I first stumbled upon it. Tozer compiled a list of 7 rules for self-discovery.
Okay, so I don’t know if it’s because I am officially done with that first quarter of life, or if it’s because I’ve been married for over a year now and have learned a lot of new things about myself, or if it’s just God opening my eyes to things about my own soul lately, but I feel like we can easily overlook or never even notice particular truths about ourselves. Maybe it’s Satan helping those things lie so hidden, so buried in our souls, that we do not even realize they are there. It’s a thought that has been on my mind for much of the summer. I want to search out those areas, for the Lord to shed light on those things that don’t belong, no matter how hard they may be to swallow, so that He can help me overcome anything dark that I may have forgotten about, minimized, or not realized I had in me at all.
Tozer wrote that if we want to truly know ourselves, we need to consider the following, totally honestly, and I want you to take a minute to consider each one before you jump to the next. What immediately comes to mind for you? This is about self-discovery, so just be real with yourself. The 7 rules are as follows:
- What we want most
- What we think about most
- How we use our money
- What we do with our leisure time
- The company we enjoy
- Who and what we admire
- What we laugh at
Okay, that’s a lot. Maybe something popped up for you that made you question yourself or gave you a hard time. Maybe you don’t want your honest answers to be what they are. I’m going to briefly cover all seven rules, with some thoughts I have had on each one:
1 – What we want most. Some of us probably came up with material things, or even those types of things for others. Maybe they were more along the lines of safety for us or our children, being in a particular role at work, an achievement of some kind, financial success, good health, happiness, whatever. Maybe, even when we’re being honest and not just trying to come up with the Sunday School answer, the first thing we thought of was to live a good Christian life, to bring others to Jesus, and to promote that type of goal for others to live out as well. I think the best answer to this is to want what God wants. The thing is, how can we know what He wants? Micah 6:8 reads, “ He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” I want what I want the most to be just that – for me to act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with the Lord.
2 – What we think about most. For parents, this is very likely your kids. Or maybe it’s your spouse. Maybe it’s your job, the Olympics lately, or political stuff. Maybe it’s about finances and stress and fears. None of those things are inherently wrong to think about, but imagine your brain as a pie chart for a second. How much of that pie chart is a slice for the Lord? How much of your thoughts and reflections are about God’s goodness, His mercy, the signs of love He showers on you literally every day? How much of that thought cloud is dark and stormy, and how much of it is full of His Light? What do we dwell on throughout the day? I love Philippians 4:8 where we are told “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.” Are those the things we are thinking about?
3 – How we use our money. This one is what it is. It doesn’t lie. Your checking account reveals all, so you can’t even kid yourself here. How are you using your money? I had a convicting moment a few weeks ago. My husband and I have been looking for houses for the past year or so, more fervently as of late. I can easily be sucked into pushing the envelope on how expensive a house I want because we can afford a pretty decent one. How nice it will look, how much room we could have… those kind of things can cause me to look at more pricey homes. The one thing I used to daydream about all the time as a kid was not my wedding, my future husband, my prom, or anything material even… except my future house. I used to draw floor layouts and look at home magazines and I even estimated, at about 13 years old, how much it would cost to completely furnish my future home with selected furniture, decorations, appliances, all of it. Anyway, a house can easily be a temptation for me. We are hoping to have a 20 year or less mortgage, and also not become what I refer to as “house poor.” We want to continue in financial health and generosity. Sensibly, I knew this, but, man, some of those higher end houses looked good… Then, a few weeks ago, I was reading Haggai and it was Haggai 1:7-9 that got me like a punch to the soul. It says “This is what the Lord Almighty says: ‘Give careful thought to your ways. Go up into the mountains and bring down timber and build My house, so that I may take pleasure in it and be honored,’ says the Lord. ‘You expected much, but see, it turned out to be little. What you brought home, I blew away. Why?’ declares the Lord Almighty. ‘Because of My house, which remains a ruin, while each of you is busy with your own house.’” I think it’s easy to put our own needs above anything else, because of survival instinct and our selfish nature and all, but we can’t forget that everything we have is really the Lord’s. It is from Him, yet we can easily use it all for ourselves, without prioritizing our giving anything back to Him or to others who are in need.
4 – What we do with our leisure time. I hear people all the time saying they wish they could exercise more or spend more time with family or read scripture more, or any variety of things, except there’s just not enough time in the day. My dad used to tell us all the time growing up that what someone does with a little represents what they would do with a lot. It was usually in regard to money, after someone would say that if they had more money or won the lottery, they would pay off someone else’s mortgage or help a church or whatever… and every single time, my dad would reply “well, hey, I bet they’d sure appreciate even $50 right now.” At which point the person would sheepishly realize that they don’t really mean it when they say they would want to help someone all that much. Well, I think the same goes for time. What you do with a little represents what you would do with a lot. You have half an hour of leisure time at home each night and you play video games or stare at your phone? You’d spend two hours or more doing that if you had the time. Or, you spend that spare time reading a chapter of the Bible, talking with your kids, helping your spouse to feel valued in some small way? Well, that’s likely quite representative of how you would spend even more leisure time. Ephesians 5:15-17 tells us “Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, (or in some versions, this reads “making the best use of the time”), because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.” We only have a short amount of time on earth at all, and leisure time only in fleeting snippets, it seems, but how are we spending it?
5 – The company we enjoy. Okay, I know Jesus hung out with tax collectors and sinners and prostitutes and all that, but He was Jesus, and He could handle that atmosphere without being tempted or swayed. He explained that it is the sick who need a doctor, not the healthy. He was there with a redemptive purpose. Here’s a little test for a second. Who are the 5 you are closest to? The 5 you talk to the most, spend time with the most, confide in the most, etc? … Got some names? There’s a psychological theory that the 5 you spend the most time around are the ones who most closely reflect you or would compile you if they were thrown all together. I can’t say I disagree much in my case. We should not refrain from being friends with non-Christians but we do have to be aware that those we spend the most time with could just as easily influence us as we could influence them. Proverb 13:20 reminds us that whoever walks with the wise will be wise, but the companion of fools suffers destruction. Also, I’m not looking for hands and this could sound cheesy, but I wonder how many of us actually and honestly considered Jesus as one of those 5. Just food for thought.
6 – Who and what we admire. This could be any number of things and for many folks, both Christians and non-Christians alike, it’s usually answered with the name of a celebrity, athlete, model, actor, professor, or family member. Maybe for you it’s not a specific person so much as a particular trait, talent, or lifestyle. I don’t think anything is wrong with admiring people who exemplify the good characteristics we are supposed to have – the fruits of the Spirit lived out in physical form. I have always admired my dad in a way that is hard to even put into words. But I realized the older I got that, although he is one of the most awesome and impactful people in my life, he is not perfect. All the things I love the most about him are the things that point to Christ. The things that point to my Heavenly Father who is perfect and who I can completely and totally look up to. In 1 Corinthians 11:1, Paul writes to the church “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.” It’s okay to look up to others and for others to look up to you, but I think it’s good to remind yourself and those looking up to you that it’s not all about you – you’re pointing them to Someone so much greater and worthy of admiration than we could ever possibly be.
7 – What we laugh at. There is a time for laughing. And laughing is awesome! But sometimes it is done at someone’s expense, more in a scoffing or mocking way, or in prideful or sarcastic doubt when it’s not appropriate. If we laugh at someone, it diminishes our potential to witness, to show compassion and love, and is usually damaging to its recipient. Abraham’s wife, Sarah, was called out for laughing in doubt to herself when she overheard that she, in her old age, would bear a son in the coming year. I think of all the mocking that Jesus endured in the last few years of His life and especially leading up to His crucifixion. I imagine there was a lot of cruel laughter. Mean and spiteful and ridden with hate. Ephesians 5:3-4 reminds us that “Among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.” Now, I’ve watched my fair share of South Park and Family Guy, laughed at jokes about presidential candidates, or at things that I just knew weren’t really right to laugh at. I think the more we guard our hearts and minds, the more God fashions us into people who align more with His sense of humor – the good-natured kind of humor that can still make us fall on the floor, gasping for air. The kind that is more weighted toward joy and positivity than cruelty or lewdness.
These 7 rules for self-discovery have definitely made me realize things about myself, some of which are not too great. I think it’s probably impossible to reflect honestly about all 7 without feeling convicted in some way. I hope these proved to be as interesting and thought-provoking for you as they were for me.
In love, HLC
sacred strokes 